|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 12, 2003 12:30:36 GMT -5
here, you can write short legends( it can fit in 1 post) . It can be long, but if you want to write a complete story ( It needs 10 posts to fit , or it's made of many little legends related to each other , like the adventures of Bob) create a new topic to write them Have fun reading and writing the storys Stories:One day, a man went to the store to by cigarettes. He smoke player's but they had not this brand. So he bought a cheap kind of cigarettes without any brand. He go back at his house and lights a cigarette and sit down. Then the phone rang. He answers, but there is nobody. So he dial *69 to know who called him. He learn that the call came from The " Maison Funéraire" . One hour later, his girlfriend come back to the house and find him dead, with a cigarette in his mouth... That's what we call a " Légende Urbaine" in french. Weird stories that happened ... Another legend... At easter, a little girl found a chocolate rabbit in front of her house. She took it and went to watch the television. She took a byte. And another. And then she tasted something disgusting under her tongue. She looked inside the chocolate. It was full of worms. It was a stupid joke, made by kids of her neighborhood. They made a hole under the chocolate, and they put a lot of worms... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- In a little city in the USA, lived a man. His mother, that was 64 years old, had just dissapeared. One day, the mayor of the city asked to some men to help them to carry some dead people from a cimetery to another one. While carrying a coffin, he drop it and it opened. Then he saw the scary face of... His mother  !!! They discovered that a man enjoyed to bury alive some people and to let them die there. If somebody you know disapear, ensure that he's not in a cimetery... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- You know Zellers? These stores where nobody can answer your questions? Did you ever noticed that there was many Big squared Beams with mirrors on it? Some people says that inside these beams there is Security agents. They don't have enouh staff to help us, but there are security agents hidden behind mirrors to fight against robbery!!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A young men and his wife bought a house in the main. The night came, and they went to sleep. During the night, the woman heard a baby crying. She ignored it because she tought it was her imagination. The man woke up too and ignored it. And every night , they heard these horrible crying... One day they decided to demolish the walls of their bedroom. They found the dead body of a baby, that was dead since 5 years... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- In the 80's in Margarita Island, Venezuela, a pig had a baby that was half-pig half-human! It was a pig but his hands looked like humans one, and it wasn't pink, it was beige... The "father" wasn't satisfied anymore by his wife. You can imagine what happened! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- One day, a man went to vacations. He put a program that automatically answer to every message to tell that he's in vacation. His coworker made the same thing and before leaving, he send an email to the first guy to tell him that he's going to vacations. So the 1st guy's inbox automatically answered to this email, and the 2nd guy's inbox automatically answered to the first guy's automatic email, and the first guy's inbox automatically answered to the second guy's automatic email etc...etc... And after a few hours , the server crashed, because they sent to much emails to fast... ;D ;D ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A poor man was supposed to take care of his old , little bit crazy, mother. One day, he found her dead on her bed. So he took her and put her behind a tree in the garden. Then he called his friend, a police officer to tell him that his mother had just disappeared. He did that because he was afraid that the people would think that he killed her to get her money. He told to the police officer that she went to the shopping center. Some hours later, his friend called and told him that he found his mother... In the shopping center!!!!!!! The poor women wasn't dead, she was just asleep! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- In the USA a women spend many hours , sticked to the toilet of a plane. She flushed before she stood up. For those who don't know it, when you flush the toilet in a plane, there an air evacuation. So she got stuck there until the plane arrived to NYC... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The story takes place In the Canadians-Americans Custom gates, in the period where every custom agents were nervous because of the terrorism. One night they stopped a vehicule to search inside to see if there was something illegal. The man was very nervous. He refused to let them search , but the agents called other agents and they searched. They found 2 locked briefcases. They obliged him to open it. Inside they found 100 000$ in various bills and a Long knife. They tought that he was part of a gang and he was supposed to get the money beyond the border. He said that he wasn't part of a gang. He explained that every night, he goes in a park with his knife and when he sees a man, he take his knife out and say : " Give me 100$ or I cut your balls(testicles...)" The agents thought that he invented this story to avoid telling them in wich gang he was. When thay opened the second briefcase, three of the agents fell on the ground. In this briefcase there was 23 humans testicles, full of blood, in little plastic bags.... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- |
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 13, 2003 16:59:40 GMT -5
Woah! Could you possibly post more?
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 13, 2003 17:02:56 GMT -5
Yes I can! I have A LOT more!
I'll delete your first post ( Sorry, i don't get it ...) OK?
I got to go.... mmm Pizza!
|
|
|
|
Post by Hero Nick on Nov 13, 2003 17:14:57 GMT -5
Whoa!!!! i don't think so. hu Why is Chadi a KING he should be govenator  |
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 13, 2003 17:19:38 GMT -5
The thing is... Chadi only rules this Board while you have control over every single one... He's only a King and you're a Ruler...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 13, 2003 17:20:46 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 13, 2003 17:23:05 GMT -5
I guess it is...
Looks like I'm the only one here, that can decrypt his messages...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 13, 2003 17:28:50 GMT -5
It is wrote in old Frazerish  |
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 13, 2003 17:31:10 GMT -5
I think its more like anthic Nicolian Script...
Anyway, Where do you get those Stories?
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 13, 2003 17:44:51 GMT -5
I translate them from storys that i find on the internet
I got many more stories, but some are too disgusting, or too complicated to translate
|
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 13, 2003 17:46:43 GMT -5
Well, keep up the good work...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 14, 2003 11:20:35 GMT -5
Why is the folder near the topic Other Legends is burning?  One night, a man was driving his Harley-Davidson, trough a little road in the woods. Then he saw a young girl doing "auto-stop" (how you say it in english?). He told to her to get on the bike. The night was cold, so he gave her his coat. They drove to the Girl's house. There, she gave him the helmet but she forgot to give him the coat. It was very late so the man tought that it would be better if he comes the next day to get it back. The next day, when he arrived at the house, an old woman answered at the door. He told her the story and she looked very scared . She told him that her daughter died last year in a Bike accident at the same place where he picked up the girl. When he went back on his harley, he noticed the last name of the girl on their "Boîte aux lettres " (how do you write it in English?) So he went to the cimetery. There he searched for the girl. When he found her tomb, he saw his coat. Just in front of it... One night, a man and his wife were driving in a little tight road. And then the tires of the car blew off (How do you write it in english?) The man stopped the car. They saw the lights of a car in front of them. The car was stopped too. The man decided to go and ask for help. The woman saw her husband, going in the dark night. Then the lights of the car turned off. The womand automatically closed all the doors. A man was coming to her car... She couldn't see the man because it was too dark, but she was sure it wasn't her Husband. He was too skinny. The man finally arrived at the car . With his left hand he knocked on the window. The woman was scared. Then he said: " Don't be scared ma'am! I just want to ask you if this is yours" He rose is left hand up . He was holding the bloody head of her husband... One day, the boss of James authorized him to take a little break and to make a surprise to his wife, by going earlier at home, because it was james's birthday. When he arrived at the house, he saw a superb and new BMW. He looked at the window and he saw his wife talking with another man. He was so jealous that he took a bat and demolished the BMW. The Wife heard this noise, and went outside to see what was happening . When she saw the car demolished, she was stunned! She asked : " Why did you demolished the new car i just bought for Your Birthday??!"  A man wanted to buy a car. In the newspaper he found a Porsche for 50$! He tought it was a mistake. Even for 5000$ It wasn't very expensive! So he called the woman that sell this car. She said that it was 50$. There wasn't any mistake. The man quickly went to buy the car. The car was superb! It was almost new! Like in a dream, the man took a ride. Then he bought it. He asked why the car was only 50$. The woman answered: " This is my ex-husband's car. He went far away with his secretary and he wrote me, and asked me to sell the car and to send him the money..." A man wanted some tatoos. He went to the little store of a chinese man. For only 125$ he got 2 superb chineses signs. So he went to a china town. Every chinese that saw his tatoo laughed at him. He asked what means the tatoo. They told imh that it meant : " Little cat peeing in his bed" A young man at University, had to give a homework for the next day. He was a part of a brotherhood(fraternité). So he looked in the archives of the brotherhood and he found a good homework. He copied it and gave it to the teacher. The week after he had the results : 100% . With the results , there was a little note from the teacher: " When I did this homework, I didn't had a good grade. I always tought it worth more." In philosophy class, in universities, we can often hear about cases where The students write something very simple and get 100% Case #1: In a philo exam, the question was : Why? The student answered : Why not? He got 100% Case#2: In a philo exam, the question was : What is courage? A student answered : This is courage. He gave his sheet with only this answer. He got 100% Case#3: A philo Teacher put a chair on his desk and says : prove me the exicstence of this chair. A student answered: Wich Chair? He got 100% This is a TRUE story! This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees. They decide to get dessert. During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up. He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course). Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another little surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels). Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start to smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside. He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by the way, he is walking like a cowboy. On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap. Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last week?" he asks. "No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies. They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on the right, women's fashions are on the left. They split up. Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis. After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit, he brings both items to the register. His eyes are on his date (still on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away) "Just the pants." "What?" asks the Gap girl. "Just the pants!" (Eyes still trained on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK." He pays for the pants and walks over to his date; then they leave the store. They board the train just before it leaves the station and find two seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero excuses himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out the window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls out...just the sweater. |
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 15, 2003 12:43:37 GMT -5
After a long days work, a young man named Bob goes to a bar with the sole intention of getting absolutely bladdered. After very successfully completing his endeavor, he decides it's time to go home and pass out. As you can well imagine, he's in no shape to drive, but decides to take the wheel anyway. As he's cruising down the main strip (on the wrong side of the road, going 70mph in reverse, without his lights on), he gets pulled over by the police. Just as they're about to breathalyze him, they get distracted by an accident which occurs a couple of blocks down. As they look to see what happened, Bob decides that this is the perfect opportunity to make his getaway. He does so successfully and arrives home with no further incidents.
The next morning, bleary-eyed and uncertain of what happened the preceding evening, he wakes to the sight of two officers standing on his front porch. He walks to the front door and, in the most natural tone he can muster, says:
"What seems to be the problem, officers?"
"Sorry to bother you at this early hour of the morning, sir", one of them replies "but we have received reports saying that you were seen driving around last night in an advanced state of inebriation."
"Why that's preposterous!", he exclaims. "I was at home watching football like every good law-abiding, taxpaying citizen."
"In that case, would you mind very much accompanying us to your vehicle to show us that there is no damage indicative of careless driving?", the officer asks.
"Not in the least", replies Bob. "As a matter of fact, I just bought my car two weeks ago and it doesn't have a scratch on it."
You can imagine Bob's surprise and embarrassment when he lifted his garage door to find the patrol cruiser which had pulled him over the night before.
A man, usually the roommate of a brother's best friend, or something similarly bizarre, is sitting at a hotel bar in Las Vegas. A beautiful woman approaches, and they strike up a conversation.
After a few drinks, the woman invites the man to her room. She puts on some romantic music and makes drinks. She hands the man the drink, he takes a sip, and he blacks out.
When he regains consciousness, he's lying in a bathtub full of ice. There's a telephone nearby, with a note attached, telling him not to move and to call 911 immediately.
The man calls 911. The operator answers. He reports that he is groggy and sitting in a bathtub full of ice. He barely gets into his story when the operator interrupts him with the bad news. His kidneys were harvested for sale on the black market. It's a common occurrence, and ambulances have already been dispatched.
According to this story, the entire setup is quite elaborate. In the adjoining room, a team of rogue physicians had created a make-shift operating room. The woman lured her victim to the room, slipped him a drug, and he passed out. The surgeons next door removed his kidneys, sewed him back up and left him in the bathtub, leaving instructions to call 911 so that the victim doesn't die. The victim is faced with a lifetime of dialysis treatments.
A friend of mine told me that this happened to her brother's co-worker, a woman. She recently went to Las Vegas. Before she went, she was advised that if she wins big to call hotel security to escort her to her room. Well, she did win big. She called security and they told her that they would be with her in 45 minutes. She decided not to wait. She went to the elevator, and waited until she could get on an elevator alone. After waiting a bit, an empty one finally came. She entered and began to feel relief, she was safely on her way back to her room.
Just as the elevator was closing, a black hand stopped the door, and two menacing looking black men entered the elevator. They were both wearing hats and sunglasses. She figured, ok, this is it. One of the men said "Hit the floor!", so she did. They broke up laughing, and one explained that he simply meant to hit the button for their floor. She laughed and explained her fear, and what her friends had told her. They offered to escort her to her room, and she thought, ok, here it comes. They are going to rob me now, or get me in my room and kill me. So in spite of her insistence to the contrary, they escort her to her room, and nothing happened. They saw her to her room safely and departed. The next day she goes to check out, and finds that her bill has been paid, but the hotel will not tell her who paid it. She is obviously puzzled. Then after she gets home, a florist pulls up to her house and drops off 26 bouquets of flowers. She wants to know who they are from, but there are no cards, and the florist will not say. Finally on the last bouquet there is a card which reads: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years. " Signed Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall.
***TRUE STORY***
A bride and groom in Westport, Conn., got into a fight over the tradition of cramming wedding cake into the face of one's beloved.
Tracey and John O'Donnell were arrested at their wedding reception Saturday for disturbing the peace. Tracey O'Donnell said her husband fed her the cake too roughly, after she had told him to take it easy, police reported. Fighting ensued when she responded in kind, police said. The couple were later released. They are due in court Sept. 14.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Dec 25, 2003 12:25:40 GMT -5
A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal, but the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating 'this deadly gas.'" Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The following is a true story. It amused the hell out of me while it was happening. I hope it isn't one of those "had to be there" things.
On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting mad at me.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
Server: "Is that it?"
Me: "Yep."
Server: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
Me: "No, it's "TO-GO"
At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and . . .
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says
Server: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift.
Server: "He says I have to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE." [My emphasis]
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
Server: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says
Manager: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [It was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
Me: "Well, here's a two."
Manager: "We don't take those either."
Me: "Why the hell not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really, tell me, why?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What the hell for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine, have it your way then."
Me: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year old-ish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]:
Security: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
Security: "Really? What?"
Manager: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
Security: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [Incredulous]
Manager: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Security: "So, the fifty's fake?"
Manager: "NO, the $2 is."
Security: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Security: "Yeah..."
Security guard walks over to me and says
Security: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Security: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Security: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said
Me: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says
Security: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Security: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a $2 bill."
Security: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue. My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food.
|
|
