|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 10, 2003 12:39:28 GMT -5
This is the first chapter of the first story of the great adventures of Bob Brathwaite ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bob learns snowboarding It was a cold winter day. Actually it was a very very cold winter day. It was even worse for Bob because he hated the cold. Bob was an athletic young man who had no fear, but one of his problems was that he couldn't stay outside by a cold day like this one. He was a 20 years old young man, tall and strong, that liked to seduce young women. His whole life was based on a project: He wanted to be perfect. He knew that he will never be perfect, but he wanted to get the closer possible of the perfection. So he decided, during this freezy day, to go try snowboarding. By learning snowboarding, he will try to resist even if it was cold and he will maybe become a master in this sport. It wasn't difficult for Bob to learn a new sport. He had a talent in sports since his birth. He can learn a new sport in only one day, and become a real champion in only one month. |
|
F-Man
Master of All
Posts: 51
|
Post by F-Man on Nov 10, 2003 17:13:02 GMT -5
Looking good. ;D (and weird.  ) |
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 10, 2003 18:07:09 GMT -5
If I have any grammatical errors please tell me!
He drove for about an hour, and then he saw an old yellow panel, that was white when they made it. It was written : "Welcome to Devil's Pike! Snowboarders are welcome!" . Bob tought that it was a great place to begin snowboarding. When he arrived at the village gates (It had gates because it was an very old city) he saw that the name of the city was engraved in the gates in glowing red gothic letters[glow=red,2,300]" Devil's Pike"[/glow].
I'll stop there because I want to verify something and i got to go now...
Edit: Okay i'm back
While he was driving in the village to the ski station, he realized that nobody was out on the street. He didn't see anybody since he was in this village. No car, no pedestrians, no cats or dogs! He tought it was because of the cold. So he continued to drive. When he arrived at the parking of the station, he saw that there was no other car... It was empty! He got the best parking place and he went to the chalet. When he entered he saw lots of very very old skies and some snowboards. He carefully went in the direction of the snowboards to take a look of them. At each footstep, the floor made an incredible noise. While he was looking at the snowboard, somebody surprised him. He jumped and looked behind him. There was an old man. He had no hair and Bob tought that he was aged 90 years old at least. He had a long pointy nose and all his body looked like if it was decomposed and rotten. He had an horrible acrid voice. He said:
" Hello young man. Can I help you?
- Yes , I said, I want to rent a snowboard please. I want a good one. Is this all you have, i said while pointing the snowboards?
- Oh no! I have another special one for you."
He went to the back of the store, very slowly. He came back after a while with a great snowboard. It was black and there was fire on it. I tought it was just a drawing, but the flame moved like if it was really burning. Imagine a .gif image of a burning flame. It was the same thing, but it wasn't on a computer screen. It was on this big black snowboard that Bob was looking at. There was a skull on the top of the snowboard. It was so cool that Bob was stunned.
to be continued...
|
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 11, 2003 8:26:08 GMT -5
Please don't Double-Post, Just edit your first one to add something if nobody has added anything.
Comments: The story is pretty good so far, and you don't have too many errors. Continue the great work!
|
|
|
|
Post by Hero Nick on Nov 13, 2003 17:54:05 GMT -5
be careful:He didn't saw anybody
notice the saw (comon speacies of grammatical-Chadical mistake) be careful you will get banished for mistakes of that speacies
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 13, 2003 18:11:52 GMT -5
Are you serious?
Banished? for a little mistake ;D
Anyway, what am i supposed to write instead?
|
|
|
|
Post by Hero Nick on Nov 13, 2003 18:42:21 GMT -5
the right tens
and i was joking
|
|
F-Man
Master of All
Posts: 51
|
Post by F-Man on Nov 13, 2003 23:13:31 GMT -5
You're supposed to type "he didn't see" Chadi. ;D
Good story so far, it's interesting.
|
|
|
|
Post by The Great Lord Mick on Nov 14, 2003 8:48:09 GMT -5
Continue the Good Work!
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 14, 2003 11:10:44 GMT -5
I'll continue this story later, because i'm working on more legends. I prefer that...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Nov 21, 2003 23:18:53 GMT -5
The old man told him that it belonged to a russian Snowboarder. Boris Satan... This snowboarder became World Champion, after the real champion was killed... He went to snowboard during a snowstorm and he never came back! Bob tought : " He's trying to scare me...Don't he know that I have no fear?"
He said : " Ok! Ok! How much?
- It's free for you...Bob Brathwaite!"
Bob asked himself, how does the man know his name? But he tougth " Doubting is a good way to be scared, I will not doubt..."
The perfection was really an obsession for Bob.
The Old man took out an old sheet with some names. It was the registery of everyone who rent a snowboard or a ski...
- Bradley Braun -----------Snowboard -----------17/01/98
- Billy Bush -----------------Snowboard -----------05/12/91
- Boris Borkivanotsky ----Snowboard -----------16/03/86
- Bruno Buffalo ------------Ski ----------------------28/01/81
There was many other names... Bob was surprised by the dates. The last man to rent a snowboard, came almost 6 years ago...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chadi the Dwarf on Dec 28, 2003 14:06:18 GMT -5
Bob took the snowboard and slowly went away, while looking at the ugly face of the old man. He had a very large smile, revealing his 5 rotten tooth ( There was no other) --------------------------------------------------------------------- THE OLD MAN  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- When he got outside he looked at the mountain. It was VERY HIGH ---------------------------------------------------------------- THE MOUNTAIN  ----------------------------------------------------------------- |
|
)
